Journaling reads:
Why does change have to be so hard?
All of the things I want to change
about myself
... are things I have
tried changing before.
And I always work so hard
but never quite make it.
Then I almost
go backwards
because I tell myself
I am failing.
And that
I might as well
just give up.
So I do.
And why is this time
going to be any different?
Well. I don't know.
But I am going to
work just as hard.
Or harder.
And stop thinking of myself
as a failure.
But instead
think of myself
as persistant
as a fighter
as someone who
falls down
a whole lot
but who keeps
getting back up
and trying again.